It's true that some people are naturally more outgoing, naturally more intellectually stimulated, naturally more self-confident, etc. But hope is not lost if you lack a personal trait that you so very much desire. It just will take extra time and effort to build your skills.
If you want to be more outgoing, you should practice conversing with strangers. Go to a club meeting and make a friend. Go to a bar and learn three things about the person next to you (unless they're too busy talking to themselves... then for God's sake, go to the next bar, preferably closer to Midtown). Look up that awkward "I knew you in high school and haven't talked to you since even though we live in the same city" friend and take them out to lunch. Will it be difficult? Probably, especially if you aren't naturally a people person. Will it go alright the first time? Maybe not. It could be the most awkward lunch of your life. But it's practice. Don't run screaming into your internal cave bleeding from the Ego. Just learn, take note of what worked or what didn't work, and try try again.
If you want to be smarter, read books that you don't understand until you reach comprehension. Go to lecture and/or debate series. Find an expert in a given area and ask them questions. It will be exhausting, and often disappointing and frustrating. But it takes practice, and patience.
Self-confident is a tricky monster, because it's so ambiguous. The way you practice self-confidence spans all sorts of figurative territory. But it's actually, in my opinion, easy to map out: Do things that scare you because you aren't good at them.
If you are out of shape, start going to the gym. Practice and patience until you succeed.
If you are shy and uncomfortable with people, practice and patience with things I just described.
If you think you are boring, find a hobby that interests you and go after it until you are an expert.
It won't happen overnight, and you will probably experience a serious lack of self-confidence when you first start out and see how far you are from achieving your goals. But that's normal. Everyone goes through that at first, and it's more than respectable if you accept your reality-- that right now you aren't good at ____ but after a lot of hard work, you will be-- and get to it.
We live in a society of instant gratification. Text messages bring you a concise communication .3 seconds away from real time. "Lose Weight Now!" programs are flourishing, and liposuction is available to the public-at-large. We are a consumer-driven society: when we want something, we go out and buy it and we have it. If we can't afford it, we can get approved instantly for a ludicrous credit card at any given department store. That's great if you really, really need a carpet cleaner right away because your septic tank just burst. It's not so great if you need to work at something, it makes us extra frustrated when things span over a long period of time. We want results NOW. But to really grow internally (in a sustainable way), it just doesn't happen.
Patience/Practice. It works. Trust me, you'll find out in time.
No comments:
Post a Comment